Not Pictured

I have 2 stories to share. Both are funny. Both are recent. Both happened without photographic evidence. If you are the type of person who prefers reading books with pictures, this post may not be for you. If you are the type of person who enjoys reading hilarious stories about Ava's adventures, read on...

Ava's First Kiss
I did not experience my first kiss until I was a Freshman in high school. Matt was in 1st grade. Ava was 13.5 months old.

Last week, I had the pleasure or watching my friend's son, Matt Pearman. Matt is 2 years old. He is sweet as can be and he has the best laugh. Ever. For the first 30 minutes of Matt's time at our house, he and Ava did not interact much. They both played happily, by themselves. Then, out of no where, it happened. Ava was sitting in the middle of the floor playing with her toy cell phone. Matt crawled over to her, took his pacifier out of his mouth, touched his lips to hers, backed away, put the pacifier back in his mouth, and continued playing by himself. For about 2 seconds, Ava looked confused, and then she too went back to playing by herself.

Lips were not puckered. There was no audible smooch sound. Ava (or Matt P.) will not remember this experience and years from now, both of them will probably deny this as their 'first kiss.' All I know is, it was precious. Precious and frightening all at the same time. In that instant, I saw Ava growing up way too fast. I appreciate Matt's tender heart, but next time you want to give a smoocheroo to Ava, do you mind waiting about 20 years? ;)

Shrek
Ava and I have been involved with a research study at UNC-G for about a year. The students at UNC-G are studying parental behaviors and attitudes toward their children in various situations. I initially met with the students before Ava was born, once more when Ava was 6 months old, and the final time this past week. Without boring you with any more of the details, let me get straight to the most hilarious portion of the day. This story may best be summarized by bullet points:

• Ava and I went into a room and played with toys.
• A stranger came into the room, sat in a chair and read a magazine (they wanted to see Ava's reaction to the stranger).
• I had to exit the room and leave Ava alone in the room with the stranger. Have no fear, I was able to go into the room next door and watch the whole thing through a double-sided mirror. I felt like a cop, you know on Criminal Minds or The Mentalist or something. It was cool.
• I came back in the room and the stranger left.
• Then I had to leave the room once again, this time leaving Ava by herself. Part of me wished she would sob uncontrollably, letting me know she wanted me to come back. Instead, she let out a little whimper and then continued playing with the toys.
• I again entered the room with Ava. While in the room, one of the students told me that a person wearing a mask would soon enter the room. I was also told that I was not allowed to interact with Ava for the first minute after the masked person entered the room (unless Ava was extremely upset). After one minute, I would then be able to interact with Ava however I saw fit.
• So, I sat in a chair and began to read a magazine. Ava continued to play with the toys on the floor. The door opened, and in walked... Shrek. Well, kind of. It was a woman wearing a giant Shrek mask, two enormous Shrek hands and a long, flowing smock that doctors wear for surgery. Honestly, I think seeing Shrek himself walk through the door would have been much less frightening.
• Ava slowly turned her head, looked at Shrek for about 1.2 seconds and then like lightening, threw herself on the floor, face down. Her arms and legs were spread out as if she had just jumped out of an airplane.
• She did not move. Not an inch. Not a muscle. Not a hair on her head.
• While Shrek walked around the room and talked to her, Ava played dead. Like a possum. For one whole minute, Ava lay in the middle of the floor, face smashed into the carpet. If I could have read her mind, I bet she was thinking, "Maybe if I don't move... this creepy thing won't see me."
• What was I doing? Being the world's worst parent. I had to cover my face with the magazine I was reading so that Ava couldn't tell how hard I was 'silently' laughing.
• After one minute, I joined Ava on the floor. As soon as she realized I was near her, she booked it over to me, and locked her arms around my neck.
• At this point, she still wasn't a fan of Shrek, but she would at least look at him. She continued to hold on to me until Shrek left the room. Then, as if nothing had happened, she returned to playing with the toys.

Hopefully, after reading all of this, you have at least let out a chuckle. You may not think that either of these stories are particularly funny and if that's the case, then you have no sense of humor. :) Trust me when I say that I plan on burning these events in my mind forever, and I will pull them out whenever I need a good laugh. Maybe next time something like this happens, I'll be able to prove it with pictures!